By Ashley Eugene Summer 2019
Who am I? This is a question that for most of my life I was not sure of, and that now I am only starting to understand the true depth of me. I am a huge believer in the thought that a person is as good as what he puts in his mind, body, and spirit.
For me I have always been hugely connected although I was not always aware of the depth of that connection. After going through my own health struggles I realized that my physical health was directly related and completely tied to my spiritual health. The connection of my life to my inner world has been apparent to me for many many years after a major traumatic awakening. Since it was made apparent to me I’ve been working diligently to heal the wounds of my inner world so that I am I fully live in the now.
My entire life I was so heavily armored with literally every armor that there is to protect myself from everything that surrounded me. From the opinions of my parents, the traumas of my childhood and life. The way that our social system was set up so that those things could never be fully healed or addressed so that I am an adult I struggled with the effects of these.
After suffering such traumas my entire life I was so heavily armored with literally every armor that there is to protect myself from everything that surrounded me. The generational traumas came full circle in my life. I literally just as I was typing this realized I have in my own lifetime have directly been affected by every trauma that was suffered by my family for generations. From molestation, rape, domestic violence, teen pregnancy, near death multiple times, and I survived it all! I survived it all so that I can transmute it! I am so eternally grateful for this beautiful revelation and the end of this generational trauma.
Recently my husband and I were listening to an audio recording of the Willie Lynch book in the 1700s. It is called The Willie Lynch letter and the making of a Negro. In that book it talks about the way to break a human is equal to that as breaking a horse. It states that you have to traumatize it in such a way that it is completely unable to heal because it knows no other way to live.
When I heard everything that was being ranted in this book I was appalled. Not only because of the racism that was being spewed in it of course; Willie Lynch was a slave owner teaching other slave owners how to properly slave own and break them beyond repair and continue to do it so you have people who know no other way. The worst part is the fact that this still continues to this day and this was hundreds of years ago.
After listening to John Trudell in class I explored more of his music. When I listened to a talk that he gave it was called what happened to the tribes of Europe. It blew my mind because I never thought of that. Here in America obviously were not taught of these things we’re only thought of a limited amount of history.
In that speech he mentioned how the tribes in Europe were tortured and enslaved for 20 generations before Columbus came to America. With that it’s crazy to think about how deeply rooted this pain is and this trauma is in our society.
As you can see our social system was set up so that those things could never be fully healed or addressed so that one could fully grow past them. Illustrated perfectly in the book mentioned above. These wounds are that of the collective and has been going on for generations and I strongly feel like this age is ending.
This trauma is on purpose as we learned with Rockefeller it is designed to be this way there is no other way that they would have it. This was done in such a perfect way that the trauma has moved through the collective for centuries the trauma is the operator for the machine in our head. The machine in her head is so rigged to be on auto pilot that most never awaken to the truth of them selves or what they might be.
In the society that we have there are some who have full knowledge of everything that is going on they have the knowledge of our true power they have the knowledge of our true divinity and I also have the knowledge that most do not have this knowledge and they use that to their advantage.
This is exactly what keeps the social hierarchy going this is the foundation of the pyramid life. This life is one that starts in infancy with parents and children separated at at 2 months old. This is exactly what Willie Lynch said would break the family. To have control you have to take the parents away and put somebody else in charge of the children. The family connection will not be there for this or the next generation and so on. The child is then brought up under the guidance of the pyramid always being taught that he cannot get to the top but he should strive his best to be the best worker that he can be.
With this way of life evolutionary mismatch is a guarantee. It’s not something that we are ignorant to, the powers that be are very aware of the fact that there is evolutionary mismatch going on and the implications that it has and they are profiting in every way possible. The biggest way that they do this is in our healthcare system.
The American Healthcare system creates the cure after the corporate system creates the issue. This is the foundation of Modern healthcare was if we can’t get them to come to us and we will give them a reason to need to come to us. In our world now with genetically modified foods and pesticides and chemical infiltration from everywhere they are guaranteeing that the problem is made. Especially in the everyday person because that person probably does not know the negative effects of these things.
For years I worked in healthcare and the only thing that it did for me was teach me that that is not healthcare and it’s not the kind of care that I want for my life. When I was faced with cancer I took my life into my own hands and used my mind body connection and cured it in months. After this occurred and I truly discovered how strong I truly was I knew that I needed to help other people to realize the same thing.
The last few days I’ve really been sitting with myself and clearing out all of the limitations that I felt it been placed in my subconscious. All of the opinions of others, judgments, or the lack of acknowledgment from others as I’ve recently realized that I’ve had my entire life.
I have felt like my body was stripped to the core of my being. After feeling so frustrated and so overwhelmed with life almost like I wanted to give up. I decided to take a moment and go outside and ground to earth and find my stability again. I found myself laying in the grass under the sky being filled up with rays of light. At that moment I realized who my mother was I realize who my father was. The earth my mother and the sun my father. The universe in my soul. I felt that depth that love that infinite connection that I’ve been searching for.
Although I have found the love of myself that deep connection to everything else had been forming but not quite apparent to me. I then decided to go into a very deep meditation. I cleansed my body with sage then I sat I went into my soul. It felt all of my limitations, all of my fears, everything had been lifted. It feels as if my soul lifted out of my body my body was purified. I was brought back into my body and felt lighter than I ever have before. It was truly something I’ve never experienced in my life and when I rose I felt for the first time completely me completely connected completely sure completely limitless.
So to answer the question of who I am.. I am the stars in the sky, I’m the earth, I am the river, I am the birds, I am the trees, and the plants, and animals. I am everything. We are all one. As soon as humanity can get back to that connectedness that is when healing through healing true transformation will occur.
Thank God we are on our path back to our oneness. I am so grateful to be back on this planet in this body at this current time and space so that I may be a part of the evolution of this planet. So that I may be a part of and witness the growth and the transformation that is so necessary.
For my career path I decided to go back to my roots. The roots of who I was as a child and that is helping other children. Helping the children to know that they have a purpose, that they have a power, and with practice they can create a life in the world that they are so proud to live in. It is time to end the traumas to and the generational issues so that we may live fully in connection in love and power and in peace